


A Series of Strange Work Events

by DeeGee



Category: Naruto
Genre: Awful pick up lines., Humor, M/M, Really Naruto doesn't know why he puts up with this job, Sasuke is smug. Naruto just wants one not crazy filled work night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-17
Updated: 2012-09-17
Packaged: 2017-11-14 11:38:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/514825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeeGee/pseuds/DeeGee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto's got a little problem with work. His boss is lazy and also it seems a deranged pervert. And all his coworkers seem to be just as crazy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Series of Strange Work Events

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lavi](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Lavi).



Sasuke smirked as he washed out a beer mug, and a puff of smoke escaped his lips as he chuckled under his breath. A man in his late sixties, weighing three hundred pounds or more, was currently hitting on his newest bartender who had started only two weeks previously.

But that’s not what had made him chuckle. It was the pick-up lines the man was attempting to use on Naruto.

The line that had so amused him was: ‘If you're left leg was Thanksgiving, and your right was Christmas, would you mind if I visited you between the holidays?’

He was waiting for Naruto to snap at the guy; he himself would have told the man to get lost after the first try. But for some unknown reason, Naruto was suffering through it. The next one had his hand hitting his chest as the smoke getting caught in his throat and caused him to cough. He was unsure of whether he’d really just heard that or not. It was actually pretty good.

"I may be no Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!"

Sasuke shook his head as he stared at Naruto from the corner of his eye. The black vest with white undershirt was currently being unbuttoned; Naruto’s apron lay discarded on the counter. As Naruto had just started, he didn’t want to get blood on his work clothes…

Sasuke finally decided it was time to get involved.

Sasuke’s arm wrapped around Naruto’s waist as he spoke, saying, “I’m sorry, but he’s taken. It would be appreciated if you left now, before my boyfriend gets us fined again for hurting stupid people.”

He heard something being said by the man as he moved away, but it went ignored as Naruto stared angrily at Sasuke. “Couldn’t have helped sooner, could you?”

“You seemed to be enjoying yourself; I didn’t want to interrupt,” Sasuke smirked, turning back to the small sink.

“And you’ve been washing that same cup for an hour now!” said Naruto accusingly, his voice raised.

Sasuke looked around the bar before he replied, noting that the last few customers leaving. “And look, it’s perfectly clean now.”

Naruto opened his mouth only to shut it again, and then repeat the process a few times. “You’re unbelievable,” Naruto finally said after a few moments of trying to think of something.

“Yes, well, you seem to be wonderful at pointing out the obvious,” said Sasuke, smirking again as he started towards the back, leaving Naruto to think of a retort. He knew why the customers loved to pick on the blond waiter; really, he just made it too easy and so very amusing.

\--

During his next shift, Naruto began to feel slightly confused; it was halfway through the night and no one had hit on him yet. It was unusual. People usually gave him corny pick-up lines and tips with phone numbers. But tonight – nothing! Everyone that normally tried to mess with him was being polite. And that worried him. Something was wrong, he just knew it.

Naruto looked over at his boss, noting the ever-present cigarette hanging out of Sasuke’s mouth. At least Sasuke seemed to be acting normally; he was taking his sweet time and washing that same one cup forever, keeping him from having to do anything else. It was all the other workers that seemed to be acting weird.

The bastards, they were all plotting something against him. That had to be it!

Hinata! She was the only one in the group of employees that wouldn’t lie. Naruto discreetly looked around, making sure no one was watching him as he slipped away from behind the bar, making his way over to the girl wiping tables down.

“Quick, before they realize that you’re talking to me,” he said hurriedly, trying to be discreet. His words seemed to startle and confuse the girl. Were they leaving her out of it? She could be an ally then?

“N-Naruto?”

“Have you heard anything, Hinata?” He looked around again, making sure no eyes were on them.

The girl’s head tilted to the side slightly. “Y-you mean a-about you—”

“Yeah, about me,” he said, cutting her off and moving closer to the blushing girl. “What are they saying? What are they up too?”

“N-nothing. T-they know b-better than to b-be messing w-with the b-bosses lover,” she said hurriedly, ending the conversation quickly and walking away with a blushing face.

“Oh,” he replied, staring at the girl’s back.

“Wait! What?” he yelled. All eyes turned towards him. “Who?”

Naruto stared, confused, as the customers went back to their beers and the employees continued on with their work, ignoring his outburst.

Naruto blinked, not understanding, as his eyes turning sharply to the Uchiha, who was following Hinata into the back room. He found his feet moving on their own as he went to get answers. Naruto started to go through the door just as Hinata hurried out, nearly knocking into him.

He pointed an accusing finger at his boss. “Oi, what the hell is going on?”

Sasuke snuffed the old, almost finished cigarette out as he pulled a new pack from his pocket. “It’s a shame really. We’re ‘lovers’, but I am yet to obtain any of the perks the come with that title.”

Naruto’s mouth was agape as he stared at Sasuke, his finger going limp in midair. He stood back, looking around the empty room, suddenly feeling as if he was on display.

His boss came closer, and stopping a few inches from Naruto, stared down at the younger man.

“Not my usual type,” he heard the male mutter.

“Who? What? No! There are no types here!” Naruto waved his hands in the air. “Can you take this seriously please? People really think we’re together! How? Why? How do we fix this?” He stared as his boss’s face, which seemed to take on a serious look to it finally.

“We could have sex,” said Sasuke matter-of-factly.

Naruto lifted his finger again – pointing at the male before shaking his head. He opened his mouth, only to shut it again as he backed up, a hand searching for the door-handle behind him.

“Every single person that enters this bar losses their fucking mind,” Naruto said before he slipped out of the room. He turned to look around, leaning his back to the door as everyone took a moment to stare at him. He felt the door pushing into his back, and he looked back to find Sasuke staring at him with a raised brow.

“You do realize that you work here, and so enter this bar every day, right?” A slightly condescending smile accompanied the words.

Why did it sound like the bastard was mocking him?

\--

“Something wrong, boss?” a customer asked later that night as he watched Sasuke poured himself a drink.

“He doesn’t want to have sex.”

Naruto gaped, fairly sure that something had been knocked lose in that head of Sasuke’s. The first sign should have been the hairstyle which was shaped like a duck’s ass.

“A virgin, maybe?” the customer questioned as Naruto turned from him to the boss.

“Perhaps,” the raven haired man replied, glancing at Naruto contemplatively.

“Excuse me? Hello, remember me? The person standing right here? You know, the one you’re talking about like I’m not here? Yeah, you don’t even know anything about me!” Naruto pointed.

Sasuke paused for a moment.

“So, getting to know each other more is the problem?” the customer asked as Sasuke turned towards Naruto.

“You mean like name-age-sex-and-background? Because I know that already; it was sort of required when I gave you the job,” said Sasuke.

“Shut up!” Naruto yelled, moving away from his boss feeling the frustration bubble within. “Just shut up.”

He got the feeling there was no winning an argument against the man, so he just walked away, looking for something else to do that would put distance between him and his now certifiably insane boss.

\--

At the end of the night, long after the last customers had left and the bar had been cleaned, Naruto stared blankly at his boss and Hinata.

“You two are together?” he asked, pointing to the hand on her lower back as Hinata blushed. He felt his brow twitch; he just knew they had been fucking with him all evening.

“N-no, please don’t get jealous, N-Naruto. H-he’s j-just walking m-me h-home. W-we grew up together.” She paused. “I-I’m sorry… I don’t w-want to c-cause any m-misunderstandings b-between y-you two.”

“Jealous? Who’s jealous?” Naruto yelled as his level of annoyance rose as the girl apologized again with a bow before running off. “Hey! Wait a minute!” he called after her, before turning towards Sasuke, who had an amused look plastered to his face. He made a frustrated sound, pointing towards her and giving his boss a look of pure disbelief.

Lifting his hands, he said, “What the hell is wrong with you people?” His hands hit his sides as he shook his head and turned to walk away. “Never mind! I don’t wanna know.” He would just go home and get away from these crazies for a little while…

\--

His boss was a bastard.

The next evening, Naruto turned slowly, eyeing said bastard who standing in his usual place. "You know you’re going to kill yourself with those things." He frowned, watching as Sasuke started towards him.

“It’s cute that you care,” Sasuke smirked, watching Naruto back away.

“Oi, personal space—you’re invading mine,” Naruto half yelled, half spoke.

Sasuke sat the cup he had spent a few weeks cleaning down on the bar. “Make me a drink; I’ll be right back.”

Naruto eyed his boss suspiciously, watching the male disappear into the back room. He didn’t trust Sasuke at all! He turned, eyeing the doors. They were opened, now he needed customers to start showing up so he could trade jobs with Hinata and not be stuck behind the bar with a nutcase.

Naruto’s brows furrowed as looked around, realizing he was the only one up the front. Now that he thought about it, he was the first to show up at work today, aside from his boss.

He stared down at the empty glass. Surely he was overthinking this.

Sasuke be damned; he could just get a new cup and make his own drink. Naruto needed one before he lost his mind. He filled the glass, quickly downing the drink before his boss could come back in. He always let them have a drink or two, as long as they weren’t busy. He slammed the glass down, shaking his head as the drink burned its way down his throat.

“Don’t go breaking my shot glass,” said Sasuke, reappearing with that familiar sarcastic curve to his lips as if he were secretly laughing at Naruto.

Naruto’s brow twitched. “I won’t. Jeez. Where is everyone? And why is the open sign unplugged?” asked, pointing to the dangling cord in the window.

“Well, everyone, aside from you and I, has the night off.”

Naruto side stepped away from Sasuke, who had moved right up next to him. “What? Why?” He eyed his boss suspiciously.

“Because you’re going to help me stock the bar for tomorrow night; it’s a big party and we’ve got to move some tables around, and other things.” Sasuke smirked. “I only needed one person to help though, and I chose you.”

Naruto didn’t like this; the bastard was plotting against him, he just knew it.

“Fine.”

Why was he always agreeing to what Sasuke wanted? Well, he hadn’t agreed to ‘that’! Not that he wanted to remember the offer that Sasuke had made. Bartending was his job; it had nothing to do with Sasuke trying to annoy him.

“Alright, let’s get started.”

He didn’t care for that smug look Sasuke had. This was going to be a long night…

\--

“It’s break time; you hungry?”

Naruto sat down the chair that he was carrying, and turned to Sasuke.

His boss had two small red baskets of food sitting on the counter, and a cigarette hanging from his lips as he reached for two bottles of beer. The blond started towards the counter, his white sleeves rolled up.

“It’s getting hot in here,” Naruto complained, taking a seat.

“Yeah, I tend to have that effect on people,” Sasuke chuckled, making his way out from behind the bar.

Naruto frowned. “Very funny,” he replied, stiffening as Sasuke sat next to him, which was only part of the problem. The music that Sasuke had turned on before setting down the remote control for the stereo was very classical. He didn't think Sasuke was the type.

Wait, he thought, that’s not the problem. He repeated this a few times, and then started eating since Sasuke was doing the same. His body and mind were on alert, and ready for anything.

Naruto picked at the barbeque wings Sasuke had made. He had to admit – no matter what it was, his boss was a really good cook. Still, though, he wouldn’t get distracted. He didn’t like being the butt of Sasuke’s jokes. No pun intended.

“So, boss, are you and Hinata really dating?” He wanted to get this little lets-pick-on-Naruto thing out of the way, and get things straightened out.

Sasuke set his food down and was silent for a moment. Wiping his fingers on the napkin, he said, “Get up.”

“Huh?” Naruto furrowed his brows, watching Sasuke get up and move towards the center of the room. He knew better then to take that serious tone lightly. So, why was his body moving to where Sasuke was waiting for him without question?

Naruto tensed. Sweat built along his forehead when an arm wrapped around his waist, Sasuke’s other arm grabbing his hand. He was in shock when his mind finally wrapped around the fact that Sasuke was performing a slow dance with him. Why?

He had two questions regarding this situation. The first, why was he dancing with Sasuke, and the second…why was he dancing with Sasuke?! He was still tense, his body jumping a little when Sasuke pressed his lips to Naruto’s ear.

“I’m dating you.”

“Oh,” Naruto responded, feeling the hot breath against his ear, the words slowly sinking in and making themselves at home in his mind.

“Wait, what?” he yelled, his voice echoing throughout the empty bar.

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by Duskpixiewho helped me so much on this, thanks <3
> 
> Request for Lavi <3
> 
> Lame title I know


End file.
